Forgiving others can be challenging depending on the degree of the perceived offense. Yet, often times forgiving ourselves can be even harder to do. In this human experience we are all subject to making mistakes. We say things we don't mean in the heat of an intense emotional upset that we later regret. We also allow our deep seated fears to sometimes control our behavior and cause us to to act out in a manner we later feel embarrassed or ashamed of.
Yes, we all have a touch of crazy within us to one degree or another. And when the "crazy" within ourselves comes out, causing us to have temporary insanity, we experience moments where we do or say things that does not reflect our true character or represent our core believes and standards for living. When this happens we can be very hard on ourselves for such slip ups. In fact, we're often times harder on ourselves for making mistakes than we tend to be on others for their humanness.
Perhaps it has something to do with the idea that we expect other people to have a touch of crazy but not ourselves. Or it could be that we some how think we are exempt from such human tendencies. So when we fall short of the otherwise perfect image we secretly and subconsciously have in our minds of ourselves it can be hard to accept and even harder to forgive.
Perhaps it has something to do with the idea that we expect other people to have a touch of crazy but not ourselves. Or it could be that we some how think we are exempt from such human tendencies. So when we fall short of the otherwise perfect image we secretly and subconsciously have in our minds of ourselves it can be hard to accept and even harder to forgive.
The mind begins it's incessant negative chatter saying things like, "why did you say that to him or her...you never think before you speak." Or, "You're such an idiot, why did you do that...you know better than that, your mother/father would be so ashamed of you for doing that if he or she were still alive." Here's another good one, "You're such a failure, how could you allow yourself to get pregnant again." Or, "No one will ever love you now that you're a two time divorcee. You're so unworthy of love."
Why do we punish ourselves so harshly like this for simply being human. Living is about learning and the best teacher to help us learn is our own life experiences. Forgiving ourselves for our mistakes allows us to get the lesson and the blessing that comes along with every experience we go through in life. And the extra bonus gift that comes along with self-forgiveness is inner peace also known as peace of mind.
Truth is, when you forgive yourself you are no more condoning your own inappropriate behavior than you are when you forgive someone else. What you are in effect doing by forgiving yourself is loving yourself enough to extend the same grace to yourself as you do to others when they err.
Why do we punish ourselves so harshly like this for simply being human. Living is about learning and the best teacher to help us learn is our own life experiences. Forgiving ourselves for our mistakes allows us to get the lesson and the blessing that comes along with every experience we go through in life. And the extra bonus gift that comes along with self-forgiveness is inner peace also known as peace of mind.
Truth is, when you forgive yourself you are no more condoning your own inappropriate behavior than you are when you forgive someone else. What you are in effect doing by forgiving yourself is loving yourself enough to extend the same grace to yourself as you do to others when they err.
Self-forgiveness allows you to remember that you too are a child of the Most High God. And as Peter said in, Acts 10:34, "...God is no respecter of persons." This means the same goodness, grace, mercy and forgiveness that is available to others from God is also readily available to you. It also means the unconditional love that Holy scripture tells us God has for all His people includes you as well. But you have to learn to accept yourself unconditionally as God does in order to feel such abiding love within and the pathway to such love is through self-forgiveness.
So the next time you're "inner roommate" is playing the recording that reminds you of all your past mistakes, mess-ups, and missed opportunities non-stop, the way to shut it up is to pray for forgiveness, then forgive yourself. And the next time your deep seated fears makes your inner crazy show up causing you to behave in a manner that is so unlike you, just remember this acronym for the word PEACE by, Iyanla Vanzant, best selling author, teacher and life coach on her television show, Fix My Life, from her book, Until Today!, she writes, "Please Excuse All Crazy Experiences."
So the next time you're "inner roommate" is playing the recording that reminds you of all your past mistakes, mess-ups, and missed opportunities non-stop, the way to shut it up is to pray for forgiveness, then forgive yourself. And the next time your deep seated fears makes your inner crazy show up causing you to behave in a manner that is so unlike you, just remember this acronym for the word PEACE by, Iyanla Vanzant, best selling author, teacher and life coach on her television show, Fix My Life, from her book, Until Today!, she writes, "Please Excuse All Crazy Experiences."
Forgive yourself , spend no more time beating yourself up. Allow yourself to move beyond the feelings and thoughts of shame, guilt, embarrassment and unworthiness. As long as you are living you are going to make mistakes in order to continue learning and growing. Yet, if no one ever told you before know as of today that no matter how many mistakes you make, as a child of God, you will always be worthy of Love.
Until next time...I surround you in Love & Light! So always keep you heart open and your Love Light on.
A One Love Production
By Anna M. Hendricks
Copyright 2013
References: Holy Bible, Lamsa's Aramaic Translation, Until Today!, Iyanla Vanzant
References: Holy Bible, Lamsa's Aramaic Translation, Until Today!, Iyanla Vanzant
Wow! This is really good. P.E.A.C.E. (Please Excuse All Crazy Experiences) is a great acronym. And you're right forgiveness of Self is definitely necessary to move forward from being stuck because the "movie" will continue to play in the mind until we hit the stop button. Great Article!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Mello Melanin!
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